My First Big Outing Alone with Baby and I’m the One Who Wanted to Cry and Pee Myself

The other day I did something very brave. 

I left the house…with Baby…and went DOWNTOWN. I knew it was ambitious. I knew it would be stressful…but I needed an excuse to get out of the freaking house, so I RSVP’d to a puppet show at the Nashville Public Library.

I’m not gonna lie, it was not a leisurely outing.* 

My day went something like this:


My eyes bolt open. I feel refreshed. I slept a whole 3 hours in a row! Incredible! And Baby didn’t even wake me up! I’m up first! Maybe I can actually shower and do my makeup today!


Nevermind, Baby is awake and hungry


Somehow I have managed to breastfeed Baby, change Baby 2x (because he cries when there’s the slightest drop of pee in his diaper), run a brush through my hair and get dressed.


I’ve taken my vitamins and downed a Diet Pepsi. Diaper bag is now packed with extra diapers, extra baby outfit, formula, bottles…did I miss anything? Baby is still hungry, he needs formula now.


Baby is fed and I am ready to go! I was aiming to leave at 9AM, maybe I’ll actually get out the door early! Nevermind, forgot about the dog…


Dog has been fed, watered, and let out to poo. Baby also pooed so I had to change another diaper.
Baby is now strapped into his car seat, and we are off!


Finally found the parking garage in downtown Nashville. Wait, this isn’t even the official library parking garage is it? Do they validate here? Screw it, I am not driving downtown in circles. I just hope this garage doesn’t end up costing me like thirty bucks.


Spot secured on 5th floor. Baby is asleep. My new portable baby carrier goes over my head and I drop the sleeping baby in, facing me. I struggle with the straps for what seems an eternity.


I’m out on the street and I haven’t found the library yet. Did I walk the wrong way? It’s so hot and humid! Is Baby too hot? I hope not, he’s asleep though. I think I’ve walked about three blocks out of the way. I’m feeling overwhelmed and almost tear up, thinking this has been a bad idea. 
I take a breath and look up walking directions on the maps app in my phone.


I’m in the library! I follow the sounds of children up the grand staircase.


I’ve made it to the puppet theater with time to spare! There are little kids running around everywhere. I swear I’ve never seen so many babies and toddlers in my life.


The show begins! I barely pay attention. I can only see half of the stage. I’m sitting in the way back off to the side in case I need to make a quick exit. The show is about half an hour and by the end, the children in the audience have gotten so restless and loud that I can’t even hear the puppeteers.


I exit the theater in a herd of children. I socialize with some moms in the play area. They are distracted and seem as though they’ve been tired for years. It’s way too hot. I’m worried Baby is overheated strapped to me.


I’ve given Baby a bottle while walking around the library, away from all the bodies where it’s cooler. Baby slept through the show but he is awake and getting squirmy. 
I realize I have to pee but I have no idea how to accomplish that right now. I might as well just hold it.


I’m outside and there is a sudden downpour. I’ve never seen a Nashville summer before and am not prepared. Rain drops are falling on Baby as he looks up at me crankily. I’m shielding him with my hand.
I’m terrified between being too hot and then getting rained on that Baby will get sick. I wonder if I’m a bad parent for even bringing him out.


We’ve made it to the car before Baby starts to cry. I tell him I’m so proud of him for being so good today, and I thank him for waiting to get upset until after we’re at the car.
I really have to pee.


Baby has been fed and changed in the car. He’s in his car seat and ready to go. Let’s get the $%@# outta here!
I navigate to home in my phone. I never closed my maps app! My phone is running dangerously low on battery. I still don’t know Tennessee very well. Im terrified my phone will die and we’ll get lost. I start to memorize the directions from my phone, reciting them over and over to myself.
I really, really have to pee.
I exit the parking garage and have to pay $14. Oh well, at least it’s not $30.


I’m almost home! I’m gonna make it alive! Someone is tailgating me on a windy narrow farm road. I slow down even more. I have a newborn in the car and it’s pouring rain, back off moron! I make the slowest right turn in the history of time into my neighborhood. Intimidation does not work on me when it comes to Baby’s safety.
I really, really, really have to pee.


I pull into my driveway. My phone didn’t die! It’s down to 1%.
Baby looks funny, so I take this photo:
Phone dies.


I’m home, I’m in the door, four hours down to the minute after I left.
I haven’t been this exhausted since giving birth.
*I made a lot of mistakes on my first lone outing with Baby. I plan to write a future post with tips for outings with a newborn.

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